Sunday, January 9, 2011

How to Survive a Breakup

Warning: This post isn't beauty or fashion related at all. It's personal and a bit "Dear Abby".

There are few things worse in life than getting your heart broken. Breakups aren't like getting your eyebrows doesn't get easier and less painful every time it happens. It just plain SUCKS when it happens, but there are some things that can be done to make it easier. Here are just some tips that I use to get through the early stages of a break up.

1. Surround yourself with good people!

Friends, family, coworkers..whoever! I was very open about telling people close to me about my break up, because I knew I woul have their support. Whether it's having them listen to you vent, dry your tears, make you laugh or get you drunk..a support system is SUPER important to have at a time like this.

2. Allow yourself ONE weekend to veg out and pig out

Chocolate to girls is like beer or the gym to some guys. When my boyfriend and I broke up my co-worker bought me more Reese's than I knew what do with. I allowed myself one weekend to be a crazy, emotional mess in sweats surrounded by wrappers. Chocolate and wine is a necessity to surviving any break up in my eyes.

3. During that seriously terrible weekend, allow yourself to mourn the end of the relationship

Depending on how serious the relationship was, a break up could mean a significant loss of a loved one in your life. Allow yourself one weekend to read the cards, look at the pictures and cry. And i mean CRY!

4. After that terrible weekend, do something for yourself

You are fantastic and amazing and deserve to be spoiled! So go shopping, get your hair done, do something great for yourself..just make sure to set a financial limit and stick to it! It's easy to get carried away with emotional shopping.

I recently got my hair cut and highlited and joined a gym. I am worth it, no matter what some guy thinks!

5. Tell people

I went to an event shortly after my break up with a lot of people who I haven't seen in a while. I was going with my close friend Nick and I asked him to tell people about my break up. The worst thing is to have someone ask you "how is your boyfriend doing?" No one loves a melt down at a fancy event, the mall or Starbucks.

6. Slowly get rid of or put away those mementos

My entire room was covered with pictures of happier times, my bed is covered with stuffed animals bought by my ex and my jewelry box is full of anniversary trinkets. It's difficult, but it's time to slowly start getting rid of or putting these items away deep in your closet. Don't do it all at once, it'll be too emotional. Gradually put items away so it won't seem like a big jolt.

7. Keep busy!

The worst thing is time to think. It's so annoying to just be sitting there watching your favorite show and have this amazing memory pop into your head that once made you smile and now it makes you cry. Keep busy! Take up a new hobby, join a gym, take a class, read tons of books, hang out constantly with friends. Massive amounts of downtime can be seriously dangerous.

8. Flirt, flirt, and flirt!

It's probably been a while since you've flirted with someone new! Use this time to flirt and meet new people. You'll meet a lot of jerks, but you'll have some fun also!

9. Learn from the past

The relationship didn't last for a reason. Something or someone went wrong or it simply fizzled. Learn from the relationship. Maybe you made a mistake, maybe he made a mistake, maybe he wasn't really your type. It happened for a reason and maybe that reason was to learn about yourself and who you are in a relationship.

10. Most importantly, don't let it jade the future

This is the most difficult step, especially for myself. Remember that every guy is different and every relationship is different. Allow yourself to fall in love again. There may be pain again, but eventually the risk will be worth the reward.

All images from


Juli said...

Good post, Mel :]

Mugdha said...

This is such a good post! I totally agree with every single one.

Tammy said...

This is a great post! *hugs*

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